The Me Issue
In this Issue
-1- Editorial
-2- Child-Rearing – Are Our Kids Growing Up Too Fast?
-3- Dating – We All Have Our Price
-4- Ask Jaems
-1-
I’m on that tip and I’ve got to write. This is the “Me Issue” because I am writing this tonight for me. I’m in that zone and I’m gonna spill some stuff (not too much) that I usually would reserve for my journal. Honestly, I usually post on Xanga with the sole intention of entertaining people. Yes, I will try to do that tonight, but I’m in some kinda funk, so I’m just going to freestyle this one – no Xanga notebook, no refined, rewritten, filtered, edited, brainstormed (with the exception of Child Rearing article), processed, mechanically separated chicken, beef, and pork products. Unfortunately, this may be a little boring.
Life is fleeting. Is it odd for a 25 year-old to say that? Somehow, I still feel like I’m 17 with everything in front of me, a mint condition driver’s license and endless summer nights ahead. Yes, I have a lot ahead of me still, but I reflect on all that’s behind me. I don’t want to live in the past, but I definitely don’t want to forget it either; and one thing’s for certain, I don’t want to regret not having done something. Life is full of opportunities, and everyday we’re face to face with new opportunities that we simply pass on. We may pass for different reasons, but I know that if it’s fear or hesitation that’s holding you back, don’t let it. Life’s too short to spend it being afraid, or worried, or passive, or unhappy. So be cognizant of what great blessings you have in your life, identify what more you want, seize opportunities, and live life. That’s what it’s meant for.
-2-
I read an article in Time magazine, written by a mother, on how her 12 year-old daughter wears thongs. Everyone, but R. Kelly, I ask you, is this something to be concerned about? I’m sure half will say sarcastically, “Big deal!”, while the other half will say, “What’s a 12 year-old doing wearing a thong???”. For the latter, I’m sure you may be speculating as to what’s next… a line of thong diapers from Huggies? For the toddler who be clubbing and hate dealing with them diaper lines when they trying to rock they tight, lowrise, hiphuggers? Yeah, I know that can be a pain in the butt when you trying to get yo grind on and don’t get me started on diaper rash. Maybe they’ll have a new line of Huggies called Thuggies that markets cute little pasties with cartoon characters, so them Real Lil, Lil’ Kim’s can sport they baby boobies in style.
Life is a race – with the rapid increase in communication and information transfer, it’s all about doing things better, faster, more efficiently, and exceptionally. I mean, geez, minutes after Janet exposed her right fun pillow during the Superbowl, my friend IM’ed me a weblink to a still pic captured on a Tivo. Within an hour, I was able to download the video clip on Kazaa. Obviously society as a whole maintains pressure on the masses to produce with a sense of paranoid urgency, and parents are merely a link in the chain. HBO aired a show on mothers who obsessively groomed their 3,4, and 5 year-olds for child beauty pageants. I don’t want to get into details, but dang lady, just cause you were butt in high school, and couldn’t make the cheerleading squad or weren’t homecoming queen, isn’t justification for torturing your kids with the hopes of living vicariously through them.
There’s a 13 year-old girl in a Ph.D program, a 13 year-old golf prodigy, and countless other extraordinary child stories. At this rate, I’ll have to find a way to get a set of encyclopedias or at least a calculator and some flipcharts into the womb, so my unborn child can stand a chance against other newborns. Geez, maybe I shouldn’t be updating Xanga right now but rather, trying to figure out how to teach my sperm calculus. Moral of the article – be easy, folks. Sit on a lawn chair, watch some trees and squirrels, and drink some moonshine. Nuclear physics will still be there when you’re 80, if you’re still interested.
-3-
“I love you and only you.” …”You’re the only one for me.”…”You’re the bestest in the whole wide world”… really now? We all know that no matter how good we are at something, there’s always someone who’s better. When we make statements like the aforementioned to our significant others, how truthful is it? Certainly, we mean it with all our hearts, and in theory it sounds great. At the very least, it’s sweet, but how much have we really tested those kinds of statements. My ex used to ask me if Jennifer Love Hewitt tried to get with me, what would I do? Of course I’d joke or say that I loved her, and only her; but now that I think about, what if Jen Love Hugebits tried to kick it to me. I mean, dang, it’s Jen. I’m not trying to be a jerk, but for the vast majority, we may never have to test those statements. However, if it did happen, what would be our breaking point? Perhaps for some, maybe a skanky crack fiend would be enough for us to break (Hugh Grant?). For others it might take a beautiful actress or a supermodel, or a Nobel peace prize winner. My real question is – would it be wrong to try and pursue someone who was potentially a better match or who had more to offer?
*Disclaimer: My ex and I did not break up because of Jennifer Love Hewitt or any other chick for that matter. However, now that I’m single, Jen… if you’re reading this… I’m SINGLE…*
-4-
n0rman from New Egypt asks: After the initial contact and even say the first date… who should make the first move to call/txt… the guy or the girl?
Well, Norm there’s an unwritten rule that guys never, ever have to call. Let’s face it, we already have too much to remember as it is without having to remember to call some chick… sports scores and standings, breathing, scratching our butts, putting the toilet seat down (optional), anniversaries (of events like first time we saw a real naked girl), what day of the month our Maxim subscription comes in, et cetera (is that guy from Chicago’s nickname Pet Cetera or petc. for short?). Here’s how it works – we tell the girl that we’re going to call them (don’t specify when). After much wondering about what we meant, when we intended to call and some other unnecessary frustrations, the girl will call us, and voila – we didn’t even have to put a reminder into our already overfilled Palm Pilots.
On the real:
Dood, if you sincerely are interested in a girl, call her. What’s the big deal about who’s supposed to call first? In the wise words of Marsellus Wallace “…that’s pride (messing) wit ya…pride only hurts, it never helps” In the spirit of my editorial – don’t miss an opportunity over something meaningless.
Next Issue
*Sweet Dreams Are Made of These
Edit – Current News Updated (see side module):
2004.03.12 12:02PM Fri
jae1775 