::mood:: Dream-state

::sounds:: Ivy – Let’s go to bed (Cure cover)

::munchies:: Pizza-licious Pringles

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Ruffle My Butt Feathers

I freakin’ blog about poo all the time (here and here).  Maybe I’m stuck in that Freudian anal stage (I do enjoy a good refreshing dump, complete with straining facial expressions, and double-fisted pounding of the thigh region).  So I was utterly disgusted a few days ago, when I proceeded to enter a stall at work, and discovered the fossilized remains of someone’s cafeteria lunch, floating around like well-done rubber duckies in the toilet…. and no evidence of wiping.  What foul, wretched, butt-encrusted soul is working in my office building and

A.  Not flushing, and

B.  Not wiping

Dirty mongrel has probably developed butt bacon from this unholy act of ass damnation.

So fast forward to today… As I make my way to one of the urinals, I happen to notice that 2 stalls are occupied by some grunting, back blow-hole pushing doods.  No biggie.  Until 1 opens the door, briefly runs his hand under some water (no soap?!?) and exits the BR.  NO FLUSH!  Dumpy, disheveled, smelly-looking older gentleman who I have conversed and shook hands with.

The moral of this story – You never know who still has fresh crap in their crack

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I’m slightly nervous at work right now because they installed new security software on the network…

Are they watching me?  Can they see me updating my Xanga?  Do they know that I IM friends at their places of work with “PENIS” in the biggest, boldest font possible?

Maybe I shouldn’t care… I had a coworker call the helpdesk because she couldn’t access her personal e-mail account at work… WTH?!?  That’s like me calling security because I was having trouble putting the company copy machine into the back of an unmarked van.

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I had 2 blueberry yogurts and 2 8oz skim milks for lunch.  Saw Fight Club again on Sunday, and my goal is to have a six-pack by Friday.  If that fails maybe I’ll opt for a six-pack of fruit punch  .

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 <— Click here for a pretty frickin’ funny video; may take a little while to load but worth it.  I also suggest selecting the “Download Video” option.

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